Home Of Pure Retro Movie Love.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Total Cheeseball Guilty Pleasures and the man who loves them Part 1




Call these silly Movies whatever you want. Totally cheeseball, cheese-fests, guilty pleasures... Whatever. I think maybe for some of us guys it's a bit harder to admit to enjoying or even, gasp, loving some of these rather light entertainments or Films aimed for perhaps a totally different demographic (Scotch loving, bearded married men are only supposed to love things blowing up, I guess) I say revel in it and enjoy. These are some of my Favorites. What are yours?
(Part 2 can be found here)



Monsieur Steve Guttenberg is probably the 1980's unsung hero. He starred in tons of hits and fondly remembered films (Cocoon, Police Academy, Diner, Three Men And A Baby...) but somehow didn't survive that decade fully intact. As the 80's drew to a close, The Gute sank his fangs into the groundbreaking story of a cancer stricken overweight cartoonist who allows his romance novelist sister (Shelley Long) to transform him into a hunky, motorcycle ridin' New Zealander. Yes my friends, his name is LOBO.. And this is the Movie that was formerly named Don't Tell Her It's Me and later retitled The Boyfriend School.

Don't Tell Her It's Me (1990)





One of The Gute's biggest hits of the 80s, Short Circuit, co-starred Ally Sheedy. After their fine work together on that Film, Sheedy set her sights on a Cinderella story. That is a Cinderella who is actually a Jesus And Mary Chain listening, coked up night club partying, midnight nude swimming, rich spoiled brat who one day loses her identity, family and friends and has to learn a few life lessons with the help of her fairy godmother (a chain-smoking Beverly D'Angelo) - Maid To Order is a PG-Rated chick-flick fantasy that this grown man and his beard loves...

Maid To Order (1987)




High School Movies were at their most popular in the 80s, but by 1989, the combination of High School flick by way of Footloose Musical was not warmly welcomed at all. The writer of Footloose tried to give the same old guy on the wrong side of the tracks story a Brooklyn spin, and ended up with a total cheese-fest. Complete with a Lorainne Bracco dance number. Sing is naturally spellbinding!

Sing (1989)




Pia Zadora + Harold Robbins. Need I say more?
The Lonely Lady was a notorious bad Movie back in it's day. I say that in today's world of fame at all costs regardless of talent makes this Lonely Lady a cheese that has aged very, very well...


The Lonely Lady (1983)





Most knew that a follow up to the disco grit of Saturday Night Fever some 6 years later wasn't going to be a surefire success, and with Sylvester Stallone and the helm with his brother Frank providing the music, I say those naysayers were completely wrong. Witness this masterful montage and fall in love with the wonder and the POWER that is still....

Staying Alive (1983)




Ah, Shelly Long once again. I could have easily included her other 80's guilty pleasure, Troop Beverly Hills, but for some reason I keep going back to this one. The popular chick Novel author Susan Isaccs penned the script, and the great Frank Perry (David & Lisa, The Swimmer) Directed this Movie about a Long Island housewife who dies by choking on a giant South Korean chicken ball ("A Chicken Ball That Ended It All" as the trailer so wittily proclaims) and comes back to life to find her true love (the charming irish doctor who couldn't save her from dying in the first place--Gabriel Byrne) Hello Again is my favorite of the cheeseball variety, the New York Movie Cheeseball. Remember to chew slowly while watching!

Hello Again (1987)





Lara Flynn Boyle kills someone with a wasp, arranges it to look like a member of the A-Team has committed suicide, mangles someone's hand by way of a paper shredder and makes old ladies bleed from cookies. With Oscar Winners (Faye Dunaway and Timothy Hutton) strutting their acting chops for all the world to enjoy. So much to enjoy here. Just don't fuck with...

The Temp (1993)





A movie about an ambitious college student who will stop at nothing to get his best friend, a hunky diver, to pose for a calendar so he can make a lot of money. Welcome to the 80's people! And dive into the cheesy fun of...

Campus Man (1987)





Chad Lowe plays a man who will also stop at nothing. This time it's to get close to the women he loves by pretending to be her female best friend, roommate and tennis partner. Somewhere in the world Hilary Swank is waiting to marry this dude. But hey...

Nobody's Perfect (1990)





Before his Arrested Development and eventual breakthrough success, Jason Bateman was once a leading man. Or rather, leading wolf. I love Teen Wolf Too. I suppose it's in it's own way terrible, but so is the original. This has the totally tubular premise of a boxing wolf, Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark's Kim Darby as a mulleted Professor with a secret of her own and tons of Montages. Oh how I heart Montages...

Teen Wolf Too (1987)





Coming Soon: Part 2, The Revenge of Senor Cinema Cheeseball.



3 comments:

LitaMalibu said...

It was a bit of a sensory overload with that picture of the Gute in that silver get-up... But I forgive you.

Rupert Pupkin said...

Great stuff as always sir!

Cinema Du Meep said...

Lita-- I hope I didn't melt your eyes!

Ruper-- Thanks good sir!

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