Home Of Pure Retro Movie Love.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

When Nature Runs Amok! My Top 10 Favorite Killer Critters List.

Ah, the spring. The beautiful weather brings all sorts of little critters out. Have they made a killer pigeon movie yet? I would like to see one. They are the bane of my existence every spring... Sending "gifts" all over my car, window sills and stoop. Brooklyn is many things, but pigeon & dog crap should be high up on list of things you will see whilst you visit here. Maybe right after pizza but just before Hipsters and baby strollers.

Getting to the point, I love movies about god's little creatures... but only when they've gone completely berserk.

Here are 10 of my favorites:

The film that started it all. THE BIRDS (1963) is the absolute best of it's kind.

A close second, the awesome JAWS (1975) is equal parts terrifying and fun.

David Cronenberg's THE FLY (1986) is unlike most in this genre. It's genuinely heartbreaking... and really gross.

(1976) gets right what most of the rip-offs get wrong... An intelligent and fun little fright flick.

FROGS (1972) is fairly slow moving, but thought provoking and well acted. Ray Milland is god.

Directed by "The King Of The Rip-Offs" Ovidio G. Assonitis, TENTACLES (1977) is pretty fun stuff. Love the score by Stelvio Cipriani.

Joe Dante's bid at a Jaws rip, PIRANHA (1978) is actually more of a spoof. A fun one, too.

Man Vs. Rat. The ultimate battle in the ultimate movie. Of Unknown Origin (1983)

Kingdom Of The Spiders (1977)
is so much better than it has any right to be. Killer ending, too.

Long Weekend (1978)
is a true one-of-a-kind nature run amok film. That is until the solid remake from a couple of years ago entitled Nature's Grave.

More angry animal pictures of note:

Alligator (1980) - In the sewers and out onto your pavement! Robert Forster is called in to stop this giant mutha and his hair from falling out.

Cujo (1983) -
Never ever get trapped in your car with a Saint Bernard around.

Curse II: The Bite (1989) -
When you get bit by a snake 2 things will happen: 1) you'll slowly transform into a snake and 2) your only chance is to be saved by Klinger from MASH. God help you.

Jaws 2 (1978)
- For god's sake why doesn't anyone ever listen to Roy Scheider?

Jennifer (1978)
- Screw telekinesis. Fuck with this Carrie, and she'll give you a giant snake or tarantula to worry about.

Kiss Of The Tarantula (1976) - Speaking of Tarantulas, seek out this mostly forgotten gem from 1976.

Man's Best Friend (1993) -
A genetically altered cross-breed of Rottweiler, Tibetan Mastiff and Panther falls in puppy love for Ally Sheedy, hoping to make a Brat Pack of his very own. Mayhem ensues in the silly, slick and fun flick.

Monkey Shines (1988) -
George Romero's captive tale of a paraplegic held hostage by a trained Monkey with a real mean streak. What is it with animals loving their owners just a bit too much? CREEPY.

Prophecy (1979) -
You pollute the earth, you're gonna pay... big time. Armand Assante shows up to help, this time playing a strong silent type American Indian... of course.

Rogue (2007) -
Crocodile Dundee wouldn't last a minute with this huge (mostly CGI) sucker. A pretty fun film despite it all.

Spasms (1983)
- You'll learn that giant serpents from hell can only be stopped by potheads like Peter Fonda or drunks like Oliver Reed.

Sssssss (1973) -
More snakes, but with an extra added value... Piranha/Playboy's Heather Menzies sporting some huge eye wear.

The Uncanny (1977) -
Peter Cushing, Ray Milland and supernatural kitties. Need I say more?

and Willard (1971/2003) & Ben (1972) - That's a lot of rats. BEN sports the sweetest song ever written about a rat... Michael Jackson's theme song was even nominated for an Oscar.


Hal said...

I have some love for these two:

THE PACK (1977) a.k.a. THE LONG DARK NIGHT, which is interesting (and still missing from DVD) and provided Joe Don Baker with one of those few good-guy roles he got in the aftermath of WALKING TALL;

THE KILLER SHREWS (1959) a legendary so-good-its-baddie, with Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane himself saving the world from the killer Afghans while wooing erstwhile Miss Sweden Ingrid Goude.

The two killer dog movies I can think of pre-CUJO.

machinegunleg said...

Have they made a killer pigeon movie yet?

Does "High Anxiety" count? The scene where Mel Brook's character gets bombed by the pigeons? ;)

Mitch said...

They have, it's an italian cheeze-fest starring Christopher Atkins called Beaks:The Movie!

MrJeffery said...

ah great list! ill have to check some of these out!

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